Thursday, 12 March 2015
Written by Mathew Naismith
Sorry but this is going to be a lengthy post but most worthily so.
I’m even inspired by people who misjudge these days but I am certainly and graciously inspired by people who are open and beautiful within their own being, its certainly a breath of fresh air to what I have put myself under in the last week or so.
The first part of this post is in reference to bullying, my confrontation with cyberbullies who quite noticeably bully people to the extent of causing serious trauma upon a person. One such person was manda88, she came onto this site for help with her obvious traumas, she was bullied and was given clinical diagnosis from a person who wasn’t qualified to do so.
The following was a thread I posted on this site speaking out against bullying as everyone should in my mind.
First of all, should we accept bullying anywhere especially on discussion boards such as this one?
Let’s look at a related question, should we ever accept paedophilia because bullying is just as disruptive and as deadly as paedophilia at times? The answer is of course no, so what defines a bully?
As I have given actual evidence before on this board, bullying takes in trolling, calling people names and abusing people especially on a regular basis as some people do on this board . Trolling by the way takes in people who go onto other people’s threads on a regular basis just to call them names and abuse them in an assortment of different ways.
These bullies have recently and continually called me and other people numerous names like village idiot and Captain Irony, idiot and so forth; this clearly defines these people as bullies. I wonder if the recent name calling is one up from being continually called a coward? The bullies are quite definable on this board.
Bullying, like paedophilia, should never be accepted, yes it would seem most people in the world accept lying and deceiving as being a part of normal life but we should never in my mind accept bullying to the same extent.
Bullying isn’t just disruptive, it can be very deadly as recent findings and actual incidences around the world are proving.
I should point out that most people who have been on this board, before being bullied of the board, have pointed out the actual bullies like I have, if you don’t like being a bully, don’t bully, it is that simple.
Extract: Serial Bully Traits
Perhaps the most easily recognisable Serial Bully traits are:
Jekyll and Hyde nature - Dr Jekyll is "charming" and "charismatic"; "Hyde" is "evil";
Convincing liar - Makes up anything to fit his needs at that moment;
Treats some people in a way that causes them unprecedented levels of stress, frustration and fear;
Damages the health and reputations of organisations and individuals;
Reacts to criticism with denial, retaliation and by feigning victimhood and blaming victims;
Apparently immune from disciplinary action
Moves to a new target when the present one burns out or leaves.
Now does any of this sound familiar? Name calling and abusing people, especially on their own threads, it's bullying without question. The last one is so common on this board, who are the people who have dominated this board?
Now I know I’m going to get bullied for this, and I know third grade mentality won’t be able to help themselves but bully and intimidate me, however in reply I will in turn keep supplying evidence of the effects of bullying has on some people and how disruptive it is especially on discussion boards.
Now for the beauty, the people who beautifully inspire me:
In your opinion, what is the difference between judging and stereotyping? They’re both derived from past experiences. They've both been the reason for misunderstanding and wars. You say you don't believe in bullying but in my opinion, some judgement calls are a form of bullying according to traditional definition. I think your blog is great but I'm confused about some of your definitions. It could be about my past experiences
An interesting perspective Zora Jay, stereotyping is a form of judgment; it's about labelling but more directly, labelling everything that is similar into the same category.
For example, human beings are known to be chaotic and destructive so all humans are chaotic and destructive. Judgment can work in a different way, it's more precise, these humans are chaotic and destructive but these other human aren't, this however depends on if the judgments is bias or not.
You can see judgement is separating and once you separate, you create conflict through such separation, for example, “I judge my religion or my race as being more intelligent and pure”. You could say in the case of the race, that all white people are more intelligent, that’s stereotyping which is a misjudgement.
Unbiased judgment judges on merit, in this case it has no similarities with stereotyping, however, bias judgment is very much like stereotyping, “all white people are more intelligent than other races”.
Stereotyping is more about misjudgements than unbiased judgment.
Misjudging in my mind is indeed a form of bullying without a doubt, “my race is more intelligent than yours”, this kind of misjudgement certainly leads to bullying, look at slavery for an example, so yes judgment can certainly lead to bullying and most often does. My recent experiences on a certain site certainly indorse your statement that some judgment can be a form of bullying; judgment can certainly lead to misjudgements especially if they are biased especially by disdain (hatred, contempt).
Definitions: Some of my definitions are a little hazy; this is due to lot of spiritual/religious ideological concepts coming under one umbrella such as spiritualty, each ideological concepts has their own definitions but now under the label of spirituality. Each separate ideological concept has their own definition like of God for example, some people say God is pure consciousness, other say it’s pure awareness, others say it’s a creative source and others say God is of man etc. Each separate ideological concepts has a different definition of oneness as well, putting all these separate ideological concepts under one umbrella, such as spirituality, is a little confusing. What I don’t try to do is separate one ideological concept from another, this can indeed make what I am writing seem a little hazy, unclear at times. All what people need to do is just query me as you have done here.
I also see why I didn't feel it was the right time to write up on bullying, I was waiting for you obviously. Thanks again for the different perspectives, it's much appreciated by me and no doubt other as well once I write all this up on my blog.