Showing posts with label Joe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joe. Show all posts

Tuesday, 10 May 2016

The Life and Times of Joe

Written by Mathew Naismith

The following isn't a fictional story, it's purely based on actual events that took place throughout a persons life that I will call Joe. The story is about a life of slow agonising torture 24/7 that Joe experienced throughout his life and the way Joe was treated by his family. Even after all that happened to Joe, Joe was still on the playing field. The playing field refers to a persons life of being knocked down and getting back up again. It's likened to a sports field, once on the field, you try your hardest to stay on the field, meaning, stay in the game.

As Joe found out latter in life, Joe wasn't brought up in what you would call a normal family life. So  many people were so amazed at the stories Joe told of his childhood and family life latter on in life, one being that Joe was left with a clinically diagnosed chronic injury starting at the age of 6 years old. To this date, at the age of 52 years of age, Joe is still having to deal with this and many other things that occurred to Joe in relation to his family. Yes, Joe has many scars and bruises but he's still on the playing field to one  extent or another.

I will start Joe's life story at the age of 6 years old when Joe's life took a sudden turn that primarily influenced Joe's life for the rest of his life. The following story will only show an outline of Joe's life.

Trauma: Joe, at the age of 6 years old,  incurred an injury that was latter diagnosed as a chronic injury in his adulthood, a fully dislocated elbow that wasn't put back into place. The radial head become fully dislocated from the rest of the elbow. Could you imagine a child going through the physical pain and subsequent mental trauma of such an injury left unattended throughout their childhood life. Even to Joe, in his adulthood, has no idea how he coped with such an injury, especially with this kind of injury while going through childhood.  Did this injury take Joe off the playing field? No, he kept playing on to the best of his ability.   

School and Work: Joe struggled through school, exams were a nightmare, so often did Joe lose control in his writing hand, the pen just kept dropping out of Joe's hands through lack of feeling, this made exams virtually impossible for Joe to finish. Joe's concentration levels were also all over the place due to the severe pain that Joe took no pain killers for. Joe however completed senior high school.

While still attending school, Joe often worked at a national park in the school holidays, he also assisted his mother to clean the house every Saturday. Joe helped his mother out more than any other sibling. Still with a fully dislocated radial head/elbow, Joe then completed an apprenticeship in Carpentry/Joinery. Joe then went on to perform in labouring work that able people didn't want to do because it was too hard of work. Joe latter on went back to work in his trade, working for builders and eventually himself.

This kind of heavy continuous work soon made working in this manner virtually impossible to do for a living. Joe, a few years on, worked with other disabled people tutoring them in woodworking, numeracy and literacy. At this stage Joe found out why he accomplished as much as he did while going through, at times, extreme trauma, he had to prove he was just as good as able bodied people. It's amazing how a disability can either bring you down , or, impel you to succeed to the best of your ability. Joe so often saw this in his students/clients that he now saw this within himself.

The Holiday: While visiting his mum, Joe saw that his mum wasn't well. Joe and his wife virtually saved Joe's mother from imminent death, Joe's mum didn't look well when staying with her husband and daughter so they took immediate action. While Joe's mother was in hospital, his mother gave Joe and his wife all the financial details, Joe's mother knew what would happen to her finances if she didn't do this. After butting in and saving mum's life and now being given the financial details from Joe's mother, all hell broke lose in the family in relation to Joe's sister and father.      

Joe and his wife latter on saved up for a long holiday, because Joe's mother was getting over from a bout of cancer, they asked Joe's mother to come on holiday with them knowing that Joe's mum could cause trouble on the holiday. Yes, even after saving his mother's life, Joe's mother could turn on Joe at an instant. Joe's mother sadly turned on him and his wife while on holiday. After an argument occurred, Joe's mum walked out and then returned to collect her belongings clearly stating that she was being taken care of and that she was booked on a coach for home. Joe and his wife the next morning, with no mother in sight, decided to go on with their holiday as Joe's mum was quite adamant that she was being taken care of and she was booked on a coach to come home.      

After coming back from their holiday, Joe found out that his mother completely lied about what occurred, Joe's mother stated to the rest of the family that Joe and his wife left her completely stranded. To this date, the whole of Joe's family use this against Joe and his wife. Joe's family continually bring this up in conversation while telling Joe to stop telling the truth of what went on in his life. Joe's mother recently passed without making amends sadly enough.

The Blog: Joe's family get upset about Joe telling his life story on his own blog, they also get upset when some other family member tell Joe the truth in what is being said to them by other family members. Joe just sits back and wonders how his family would deal with the trauma he has had to deal with all his life when they get so upset over trivial things.

Joe's blog is about his life, it tells the truth of what is and was. While knowing it would upset his mother while dying of cancer, Joe's sister told what Joe was writing on his blog knowing that it would traumatise her mother even more. Joe's older brother then told Joe off for basically writing the truth and upsetting his mother even though Joe wasn't the one who told his mother about the blog.

Family Embarrassment: It would seem that the whole of Joe's immediate family just don't want to know about the truth, they so often are more accepting of lies and deceit than the truth, especially when they can use it against Joe and his wife. Yes, being aware can be painful at times, the alternative just isn't a choice for people like Joe. Joe's whole immediate family have used lies an deceit to turn on Joe, they obviously needed an excuse to hide the truth so they used lies and deceit. Joe's family are unable to use any kind of truth on Joe for all this would do is prove that Joe isn't the person they are trying to make out.

Is Joe a total embarrassment to the family? Being left with a chronic injury since he was 6 years old and receiving very little comfort from his entire family, certainly seems his an embarrassment to the family. It's human nature to try to cover up an embarrassment and to shut people up who tell the truth in how it actually is in anyway they can.  

The Truth: Joe wants to evolve from the conditioning of lies and deceit but Joe's family doesn't, this will always cause people like Joe further trauma but is it worth it? Joe has gone through a life of continuous slow agonising torture day in day out in regard to his injury, on top of this he has a family with no remorse or feeling for what Joe has gone through, in fact they think his some kind of low life. I think the way Joe's family is behaving is there the victim, and no doubt always will, because this acting the victim will hopefully cover up the truth they don't want to acknowledge.

Joe is still on the playing field, yes, ever so beaten up but still in the play, no acting the victim, just get on with life and make the most of it. Yes, this will take pulling away from his family who often act the victim for only a victim is a victim to cover up the real truth.

Is the truth all worth it? Joe obviously thinks so, he's still on the field telling it how it actually is, not how he would like it to be. Is Joe a victim of circumstance, a victim of life's traumas? Not at all, he is still at play playing it how the game should be played, not how others want it to be played.

I'm speaking from actual experiences.......