Being More Positively Expressive on the Net

Written by Mathew Naismith

Note: I was asked a couple of questions in relation to the quote, I will insert this at the end of the post in bold.  

Hopefully the following might help a few people deal with others that are more about control when trying to converse with others on the net.  It’s fine avoiding these people but spiritual awareness isn’t just about our own awareness but the awareness of all collectively I believe which means at times we may have to deal with controllers when conversing with others.  Spirituality to me isn’t about taking control but releasing it. Recently I became involved with a spiritual site that was all about knowledge & knowledge on it’s own is all about control because anything I put on this site about wisdom was quite destructively ridiculed.  Is this sites concepts wrong in some way? No because it’s like any belief or view others abide by, it’s each to their own, this site just wasn’t for me so I found out.

On this site I experienced quite a lot of high cap replies which denotes yelling & aggression which would explain the destructive criticism I was receiving from these people. High caps are fine if we are trying to point out a particular point however we should beware that we could be displaying an aggressive stance & even if we weren’t others might take it this way.  This is a good thing to remember when conversing with anyone on the net.  There is also a big difference between constructive & destructive criticism, the links below give a good outline of the difference of constructive & destructive criticism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varieties_of_criticism

Extract:  Destructive criticism aims to destroy the target of criticism, by making the destructive criticism (e.g. "you should shut up and follow the program"). The aim is to show that the point of view of someone else has no validity at all, or lacks any merit.

Constructive criticism aims to show that the intent or purpose of something is better served by an alternative approach. In this case, making the criticism is not necessarily deemed wrong, and its purpose is respected; rather, it is claimed that the same goal could be better achieved via a different route. Constructive criticisms are often suggestions for improvement – how things could be done better or more acceptably. They draw attention to how an identified problem could be solved, or how it could be solved better.

We can deduct here that constructive criticism is more of awareness but destructive criticism is of control.

The link below gives some very helpful hints in being more constructive in our replies. We can also see from this when others are being destructive within their criticism which at times is hard to detect. The following info will also help with this by allowing us to detect sooner if a person is being constructive or destructive within their criticism. This will help us determine if the discussion is worth going on with before it gets totally out of hand.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-well/201110/the-art-constructive-criticism

Extract: Most people are very thin-skinned and easily upset when it comes to receiving criticism.

Even when criticism is constructively intended, the receiver may be sensitive and respond with feelings of anger, sadness, or guilt, especially when the criticism is delivered in a way that tends to arouse defensiveness such as sending it in the form of a "You-message." (See "I-Statements" below.)

This is because when people receive messages that start with "You," such as "You didn't do this," "You never do that," "You always do the following," it is natural for them to feel attacked and take a defensive or even a retaliative position.

Fortunately, there are several excellent methods for giving constructive criticism that are unlikely to trigger bad feelings.

If we incorporate the word you with high cap letters this will enhance the effectiveness of destructive criticism used. We should also remember here some people converse in this way deliberately, spammers are a good example of this.  

I hope this will assist anyone wanting to express their own free thinking & awareness to others on the net, hoping they just might help others become more aware. Spiritual awareness is about the awareness of the collective not just of the individual so feel free to express yourself more confidently.  Now get out there & express yourself away.

+Deb Putman I wasn't always positive either Deb.

Is there a reason why we attract negative people & responses? A very good question & should we feel obligated to help? Just by being positive is helping even though they feel threatened by this positivity.

A positive person attracting a negative person is a positive sign from the negative person because they feel threatened for some reason so a question mark goes up. Once they feel threatened something is telling them there is something wrong here but of course it's usually the positive person who is in the wrong according to them & they will pull out all stops to prove so.

The conscious self is telling them someone else is at fault but the subconscious self is telling them wait a minute I'm at fault. When I get a seemingly negative response from a negative person it's really a positive response because they have just become aware of a difference. It's a start & that is all we need to do because the subconscious usually does the rest but of course that isn’t always the case.

There is an old saying that goes like this,"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink"..