Moving on - A Resurrection of Awareness

Written by Mathew Naismith  

It's really interesting how the worst of times can either make us more aware or more unaware, in other words less controlling or more controlling. Indeed, the more aware we become the less controlling we are and the less abuse we  express as control is always linked to being abusive. Consider this, how many people want to change this controlling abusive environment? We must remember, a non-controlling abusive consciousness is in an environment of control and abuse, we are the one's in their environment not the other way around, this gives us no right to change their environment, in other words be controlling and abusive over their environment in anyway.

However, we do have a right to influence our immediate environment and to disallow any controlling abusive ways to influence us. This of course is always going to be difficult for us to do at times, after all, we are not existing in a non-abusive non-controlling reality to begin with.

In recent days, my world has been sort of turned up side down emotionally, my siblings are, in my mind, reacting quite badly to my mothers imminent demise, in actuality, they are abusing my mother, my wife and myself.  When I stepped back and observed what is going on, all I could see is an excessive amount of control, such expressions of excess will of course create a very abusive environment.

My siblings and myself were brought up in an abusive controlling family environment, my siblings obviously reacted to this in one way and I the other. They seemed to have allowed themselves to become conditioned to the abuse and control where's I allowed this abuse and control to make me more aware of the destructive attributes of control therefore abuse. Yes, any sense of control is abuse in one way or another, only a controlling ego would say otherwise.

The following exchange between a friend of many years ago and myself on facebook is as follow.   

Gina Hodgkin I have done the same. I also blocked them. I'm so sick of the lies that continues to come out of that person mouth. It is sad when you are left with no choice but cut off other family members because of someone else's bad behaviour. I feel for you

My Reply

I think the thing is, we are past being controlling and abusive but of course being controlling themselves, they want to force their own controlling ways onto us all the times.

We were actually born within their environment, it was controlling so any consciousness that isn't controlling in the same way, will of course feel out of tune with their environment. I don't want to change their environment, all I want to do is be allowed to be within my own environment, this of course is going to be hard to do within such a controlling environment. People like you and I are always going to have to ward off other consciousness's controlling ways, this is their environment after all, we are actually existing within their environment.  

My older brother sees himself as some kind of spiritual guru, he got upset with me because I was expressing personal family experiences, the thing is, we don't even own our own thoughts, therefore, how could we have actual personal experiences. My spiritual guru brother is obviously still into ownership. We don't own anything and that's a huge relief to me but to anyone into control and abuse, the thought of not even owning your own thoughts is psychologically catastrophic to them. It's like a drug addict, any hint of taking their comfort blanket away from them is psychologically catastrophic to them, this is why they so often lash out at anyone threatening their addictions and fixations.

You don't need to feel for me Gina, even though I do appreciate your kind loving thoughts. I've leant so much from my abusive controlling family. Unlike my siblings who are conditioned to abuse, abuse made me aware, I did not allow the abuse I've experienced to condition me to abuse.

Even though my mother was quite abusive in her life, she doesn't deserve being abused. My mother knew no other way to be, I understand that completely. Yes, like myself she could have rectified this but I think the life she chose wasn't conductive to this.

Keep well and Happy Gina, life is full of pitfalls but from this, comes light but only if we keep pulling ourselves out of these pits and don't become a part of the pit.

PS By the way, thanks,  I knew I had to write about my recent occurrences but I didn't know how to write it, our discussion is going to be a part of my post on my blog.  

We might look at my emotional reactions as being expressive of the ego, well of course it is, if I wasn't supposed to react in this way, I wouldn't have the realisation of being human. The realisation of being human goes in hand with being expressive of the ego, I'm not then going to judge this being one thing or another, it is what it is, the human realisation and experiences of ego.

The type and excessiveness of the ego we express, is determined in how we have allowed such a controlling abusive environment to condition ourselves. I was lucky enough to be born in a very controlling family environment, yes, I did say lucky because if it wasn't for this environment, there is no way I would be as aware as I am now of  this collective controlling abusive environment we all exist in.

I think it's important to create your own environment within this controlling abusive collective environment. Within this awareness, it's important to also to try not to control and change this collective environment for all this will do, like a drug addict, cause a reaction!!

Indeed, don't be fooled, control and abuse is addictive therefore it is wise and advisable not to outwardly change their own environment we are presently experiencing. Yes, we know, there is a better more constructive way to exist but they don't want this, they want to stay addicted to control and abuse and yes, they too have a right to do this especially within their own environment!!

We are the foreign matter or aliens within an environment that is alien to non- abusive and non-controlling consciousness's, this is obvious!!