Lacking Confidence-an Ego Trick

Written by Mathew Naismith

Recently I become involved on a science minded site that is also accepting of the spiritual side of life as well however some people on this site are quite intolerable of anything to do with spiritual matters however believe it or not this wasn’t the problem, the problem was actually me.

People will believe what they want to believe & will at times defend this belief to the utter end which is fine & expected especially on sites like this one. The funny thing is this is where science & spirituality are the same, they both have their extremes which produce extreme beliefs however again this wasn’t the problem; the problem was I still lacked confidence in what I knew. I just didn’t realise what I knew until now, none of us do until something tells us so but of course we also need the wisdom to listen to what is being told at the time.  

I kept being drawn into arguments by people who were all about science & yes they did know their stuff even about certain aspects of spirituality however their mind was set on concrete evidence all the times when science itself isn’t of concrete evidence but theories. Even after this was determined & after producing evidence that fraud is quite prevalent within science studies these science minded people wanted sound concrete proof from others who were into spirituality even though they couldn’t supply such things themselves within their own arguments. Why was I being drawn into such arguments? It was simple which I didn’t realise at the time,  I lacked confidence which was brought on by the ego telling me I wasn’t good enough & knew enough while  in discussion with such science minded people.  After tacking a step back from the situation I then realised I knew more than they did in many ways. As soon as I produced sound scientific evidence they went immediately on the defensive & argued about any silly point they could even to the extent in attacking my persona, this proved at the time I was as good as them however I didn’t realise this until I took a step back & became the observer.

I’m into science, philosophy & spirituality to one extent or another so I do know my stuff however I allowed people, with obvious controlling tendencies, to intimidate me or more precisely intimidate my ego  which I expressed a little too freely obviously which gave  me lack of confidence while dealing with such controllers. We talk so often about the ego giving us an over bloated confidence & how negative & destructive this can be but lack of confidence is just as bad.

As soon as these science minded people on this science/spiritual site became threatened by my presence I should have realised then & there I was as good as them even in regards to science matters.  The good thing to come of this is I know now what I know & what I don’t know really doesn’t matter at all.  Allowing actual experiences of life to teach us awareness & wisdom in this way can have it’s drawbacks however within these drawbacks we find even more wisdom but only if we are wise enough to be aware of such things in the first place.